The UK newspaper, The Daily Telegraph, explained how worried zoo officials put Mr Bumble on a diet, and since September, he’s lost 4.4lbs on an all fruit-and-vegetable routine – with 2lbs still to go.
Mr. Bumble has also been undertaking regular exercise, with the zoo’s owner, Chris Moiser, explaining:
“We take him out on a lead twice a day, letting him run back to his cage.”
Just like humans, Mr Bumble’s poor health was obvious: he was lethargic, slept a lot and was uninterested in what was going on around him.
So, what tips could Mr Bumble offer for those of us who’ve overindulged this Christmas?
- Losing weight will give you more energy. If you find yourself struggling to keep up with the kids over the holidays, or avoiding family walks or other outings, is your tiredness related to your weight?
- Fruit and vegetables should be a key part of your diet. They have a low calorie density (few calories per gram), and they’re packed with fiber. This makes them filling without being fattening.
- Cut out the bacon sandwiches. High fat, high calorie snacks aren’t going to help any dieter.
- Be patient. It’s taken Mr Bumbles four months to lost 4.4lbs, and he’s still not at his target weight. If you’ve got lots of weight to shed, see Christmas 2010 as your target, not your summer holiday.
So. Many. Questions.
First and foremost: Who gets a pet skunk?! Are you serious? Do you plan on brushing and petting it while it sprays you with it’s skunk-ass acid?? Between pythons and skunks, I don’t know what’s worse…
Then, in addition to the question of “Who gets a pet skunk?” there’s the question of “Who gets a pet skunk and feeds it bacon sandwiches?” because that’s just as ridiculous. Who feeds anything a bacon sandwich?? It’s like getting a fat injection…or putting a gun of bacon to your heart and shooting a bacon bullet at it. In any case, no one…human, animal, skunk…should be eating bacon sandwiches. Period.
Someone please explain “We take him on a lead twice a day, letting him run back to his cage.” because the whole “…letting him run back to his cage” part sounds like this skunk may be off his skunk leash with the understanding that this skunk will be running back to his skunk cage independently….
…which is skunkin’ ridiculous.
Oh, and incase you missed the tip:
Really? C’mon, what about dieters who eat sticks of lard every day? You can’t tell me a bacon sandwich isn’t at least a little better than a stick of pure lard, right?
Oh, and if you’re curious about the previously mentioned hedgehog…
LESSONS FROM AN OBESE HEDGEHOG
We’ve heard of dogs and cats being put on diets, but how about a hedgehog? At St Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire, UK, Snowball the albino hedgehog needs to shed some pounds.
And, oddly enough, we can learn a few things from the Snowball story.
Snowball weighs three times as much as an average hedgehog, at 1,500 grams compared with 500 grams. The founder of the wildlife hospital, Les Stocker, explained that:
“He was very, very fat. Hedgehogs just eat and eat and eat. If they have got food there, they will eat the lot.”
Hmm, sound familiar? I imagine many will have too much food placed in front of them over Christmas. And, whether it’s a big family dinner, or a box of your favorite chocolates, self-restraint can be hard – many people find that keeping food out of sight helps.
The Daily Telegraph reports that:
“Experts are putting him through his paces with running and swimming sessions.”
Again, here’s a tip for us too – regular exercise really does help you lose weight, and simple activities like running (or brisk walking) and swimming are great ways to get fitter and burn calories.
There’s one aspect of Snowball’s regime I don’t think I’ll be adopting, though…
“He has been placed on a diet of low-fat kitten biscuits.”
Oh, and so far, Snowball has lost 38 grams. Just 962 grams to go, then!
Yet again: So. Many. Questions.
1. St. Tiddywinkles Wildlife Hospital? That can’t be real. But if it is, I’m sure there’s a St. Tittietwinkles just down the street from it.
2. “Snowball the obese, albino hedgehog.” If I accomplish nothing else with my life from this moment forward, that statement will be enough to continue living for every day.
3. “He was very, very fat. Hedgehogs just eat and eat and eat. If they have got food there, they will eat the lot.”
…Sound familiar?
Yes, because I frequently compare my holiday eating habits to that of an over-indulgent hedgehog.
4. “Experts are putting him through his paces with running and swimming sessions.”
I had zero idea hedgehogs could swim. Is it just me? Why do I feel like these “swimming sessions” are Mr. Les Stocker of Tiddlywinks (remember those!?) hospital throwing Snowball in a bucket of water and watching him flail for 10 minutes before dumping him back out? Though, I’m sure it’s working as trying to overcome drowning would be an effective workout for anyone trying to lose weight.
5. “…kitten bisquits”. What? Why? And please say real kittens are not involved.
Hopefully, you found these random, obese, animals inspiring in your New Years quest in losing weight. Or, comforting in your quest to gain weight.
See ya back here tomorrow for Debacle Friday’s Top Ten Toasts!
In Ridiculousness,
E. McBloggerton
I knew you’d enjoy that one, Miss McBlog. Well said, well said.
These animals need a video game that displays a gerbil wheel that they can spin using a small controller that they operate with their paws. By the way, I lost one of my lives due to obesity, so I can relate. Obster the Catster
Didn’t you know that, in general, kittens are low in fat and high in fiber?
That being said, I have been trying unsuccessfully for the last 20 years to gain weight. I have tried everything, including eating bacon sandwiches, although bacon AND egg sandwiches are much more delicious.
I shall leave you with this poem, which I found on the interwebs along with a recipe for roast cat.
Oh kittens, in our hours of ease
Uncertain toys and full of fleas,
When pain and anguish hang o’er men,
We turn you into sausage then.
And the TV keeps telling me people that don’t exercise get fat, I haven’t exercised since 1994 when I was forced to run two miles around my high school’s indoor track.
I firmly believe that, in high school, fat people should be made to run around, while thin people sit on the bleachers eating twinkies. And bacon sandwiches.
I bet if they tried to drown the fatties, they’d lose weight faster.
Just sayin.
Gotta be honest – one of my favorite things to eat is a grilled cheese sandwich from The Original Pancake House with their thick cut bacon – yummy!
You know what goes great with a bacon grilled cheese?
Gin.
A skunk story I am so excited. Being from Sacramento, we were all involved in the scandal of yoplait yogurt cups suffocating skunks.
General Mills had to modify the circumfrence of the opening to prevent any more unnecessary skunk deaths. I am so thrilled to hear skunk centered health and wellness is back in the news. God Bless you Daily Ridiculous
God Bless Daily Ridiculous A skunk story I am so excited. Being from Sacramento, we were all involved in the scandal of yoplait yogurt cups suffocating skunks.
General Mills had to modify the circumfrence of the opening to prevent any more unnecessary skunk deaths. I am so thrilled to hear skunk centered health and wellness is back in the news.
Debacle Friday’s Top Ten Toasts are better than a Lunchable! // Jan 8, 2010 at 3:45 am
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Happy Unecessary Monday Starring Tom Cruise and Paula Deen! // Jan 11, 2010 at 12:27 am
[...] week’s ”In The News Thursday” stories about the fattie skunk and hedgehog were submitted by someone (I just wrote the commentary), which means, yes, you are welcome to send [...]
Mrs. Tiggywinkles is a hedgehog laundress from Beatrix Potter. Anti-bacon! Didn’t you used to eat braunschweiger sandwiches?
AHHHHH!!! the daily Ridiculous.A Fricken Hedehog on a Diet.and Somali pirate’s.Who could ask for any thing more well maybe a beer and a good woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and more DAILY RIDICULOUS!!!!KEEP IT COMING PLEASE>>>>
Hahah-Maynsey I DID most definitely eat myself a good braunschweiger sandwich back in the day. I blame my parents.
Thanks for being such a loyal follower of Ridiculous Mark!